im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
