woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
