Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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