He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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