You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
