She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize