Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
