Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
