im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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