I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
