So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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