why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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