The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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