I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
