today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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