There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
