Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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