8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
