I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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