porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
