I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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