i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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