On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
