Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
