We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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