I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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