your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
