Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
