what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
