I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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