i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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