my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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