you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
