if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
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I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
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I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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