One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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