Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
