ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
