At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
As shirtless as possible
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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