the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
