So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
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I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
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I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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