I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
