...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
