i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm getting married
To pizza
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
