she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Terrible idea I love it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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