I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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