Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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