I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
