At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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