Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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