We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize