oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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