In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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