So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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