If i come over, it means nothing
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I can text with my tongue
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
