Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I have post one night stand depression
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