the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
