you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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