doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
