you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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