And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
