He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
