my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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