Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize