I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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